In my car this morning I heard the radio peeps talking about some article a random mother wrote. It’s basically about how fed up she is with the media for sending young girls mixed messages. On the one hand, she says, they’re being told to feel good about themselves and have confidence in who they are. On the other hand, they see advertising with skinny minnie girls, and companies are trying to sell them push-up bras and thongs. (Which she, and a lot of moms, are quite upset about.)
I’m not saying this isn’t a mixed message. I completely agree with her; it’s a contradiction. It’s also aggravating. And yeah, I don’t think an eleven year old needs a push-up bra. (One of the guys kind of annoyed me at this point because he said, “Yeah, I don’t want to see an eleven year old, or fourteen year old, in a push-up bra, or wearing some g-string.” Well dude, hopefully you aren’t actually seeing the underwear… that’s an entirely different issue if you’re seeing it. HaHa. And some young girls just so happen to have enormous boobs without a push-up bra.)
I also agree that the media is a huge hot mess about the message it spreads to young girls (and boys!). But my question is… since when is it the media’s responsibility to teach children to have confidence and self-respect? Isn’t that what parents are for?
When I was 13 I was at that stage of doing things to try to fit in, and I wore a super ridiculously padded bra for awhile. (I’m sure I wasn’t fooling anyone! Haha.) I tried to be what some of the other girls my age were. I was really concerned with fitting in and having the “right” clothes. I could have easily gotten sucked in to that “I’m not, nor will I ever be, good enough” mentality.
Lucky for me, I have a mother who allowed me space to figure out who I really was, and who gave me the confidence to be that person. And I have a father who showed me what level of respect I should receive from boys, and what standing up for myself looked like.
My parents also made sure I realized that what I see on tv, and in magazines, isn’t necessarily real life. It’s advertising, and it has an agenda.
I just get really frustrated hearing people talk about this sometimes. The world is an effed up place. Greed and power makes people do things like use abnormally thin girls for advertising in order to try to sell merchandise. It’s life. Maybe some day it will change, but it doesn’t even matter. If you teach your kids to know the difference between real life and the media, and to have self-confidence and a strong sense of self-awareness… they’ll come out just fine.
My mom let me wear the clothes I wanted, as long as they followed school guidelines. Sometimes I dressed too grown up for my age. But my mom was paying attention. She didn’t let me roam the streets dressed like a two dollar hooker or anything. But like I said earlier, she let me figure some things out on my own, and let me be my own person. It wasn’t the end of the world.
People just need to relax sometimes. And hold themselves a little more accountable.
update:
So I originally had this post titled “Pre-Teens and Push-Up Bras”, but then I realized that the most outside traffic my blog gathered came from people Googling “preteens in push up bras”, “preteens in bras” and other such vile things. Really cool. Ew.
Either way, I’m very grateful to have been there for this part of his life, both for him and for his parents who are obviously special people in our lives! It has been very fun.
