I don’t know if everyone is this way… but I am a person who has always been anxious for the next step in life. In middle school I couldn’t wait for high school and to have a boyfriend. In high school I couldn’t wait for college & to move out of my home town. In college I couldn’t wait to find my person & graduate. The entire time I’ve been dating Kevin I’ve been really anxious for marriage and to start a family. We were clearly not trying to start a family, and I knew that it wouldn’t have been the ideal time three years ago… but in the back of my mind I was always really anxious for babies. I was constantly wanting to fast forward my life to the point where we were settled, and ready to start a family.
Then he proposed, and I’ve obviously been quite busy planning the wedding (23 days left! Ah!), and my eagerness to start a family has almost completely gone away. I am not at all wishing I could fast forward my life or skip ahead to that point. I know it will come, and I’m not really concerned with it all that much. It’s so weird though, because I was basically obsessed with wanting babies! Obviously I still want to have them some day (don’t worry Mom & Karen!), and I don’t want to wait until I’m 30 or anything… I’m just not thinking about it anymore.
My conclusion is that my eagerness for that next step in life was replaced with the whole getting married & moving out bit. So I wonder if after we’ve been married for a few months that little ticking of the biological clock will start up again… hmm… I don’t think so. Especially since we plan on moving out of state next year (REALLY. Next year. Not TWO years. NEXT year.). I think the biological clock is on pause for quite awhile. Which feels kind of nice… to want to really enjoy what I’ve got going on presently in my life, and not be worried about what will happen next. I dig it!
