Here’s to the Exes

Sometimes it’s easy to look at your life, and the relationships of the past, and become annoyed thinking about the various reasons those past relationships did not work. Perhaps someone turned out to be a liar… another may have lacked ambition… another may have changed and been weaker than expected… another could have not been emotionally ready for a relationship… and worst of all, one could have been wonderful, but just lacked that chemistry we all crave. (I may or may not be referencing actual relationships… haha… yes, yes I am.)

It’s so easy to reminisce and be aggravated that you even gave someone the time of day… or that you waited so long to take action… or that you trusted someone completely. It’s easy to look at them for their faults.

But a better option… one that switches your mind to a more positive outlook… is to be grateful for all of the failed relationships. Obviously every single one should be a lesson. More than that… they will help you appreciate a good thing when you see it. That is, if you’re paying attention.

If I was single 5 years ago and met my current boyfriend, I’m not entirely sure I would have seen his worth so clearly. I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate his open-minded intelligence, or his level-headed patience and understanding. I wouldn’t have taken the time to get to know his absolutely amazing sense of humor, and I wouldn’t have appreciated his maturity the way that I do now.

So thank you, to all of my exes… all of the misses… all of the simply incompatible partners of my past. If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to see how very lucky I am right now. 🙂

I hope that you all learned something from your time with me as well, and have moved on to be happier and healthier (emotionally) for it.

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Can We All Just Be Happy?

It has to be exhausting to be cynical about the world. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me.

I see so many people just hating on everything–on life, on relationships, on “people these days.” Do you know that throughout history there have always been people saying these things? It isn’t just our world today. Today cynical people say, “The world today is crap. It was so much better ‘back in the day’.” Well ‘back in the day’ cynical people said the same thing. You’re not saying anything hugely important or philosophical or mind-blowing. I personally find that kind of cynicism incredibly boring.

Especially because I think that most of the time people are just saying it to try to sound “cool.” They think it makes them sound wise, or somehow different. I really love it when someone who is under 30 says stuff like that. You have no recollection of how the world used to be, because you weren’t in it. Just stop it.

So many people who are single and out there dating seem to want to say that “guys/girls these days” just aren’t at the same caliber as they used to be. That doesn’t even make sense to me. There are good, genuine people out there. There are crappy people, too. But there have always been both. It’s not like back in the 50s everybody was a worthwhile person who would make you feel special and loved. That’s effing ridiculous. So therefore, it is ridiculous to claim that your dating life problems are due to some shift in the quality of people in this world. Maybe you should work on your ability to judge someone’s character. And learn to accept the fact that not every guy/girl you meet is going to end up being some important, meaningful relationship for you. That’s life, and I promise it will all be okayyyy!

I realize it seems that I’m “hating” on other people for “hating.” But I’m just trying to be observant, and speak on what I see. I would love for more people to be more hopeful and optimistic about life and about the world. Can you imagine if the world had all those good vibes floating around? It would be amazing!

Like I said, it just seems like it would be such a downer to be so cynical all the time… and like it would take so much energy. You know what they say… it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. 🙂

Bad Karma in the Morning

Lesson of the day: if you find a credit/debit card on the ground & intend to return it to its rightful owner and someone sees you and says, “Oh! That’s mine!” … ask them what the name on the card is before handing it over to them. -__- 

This happened to me this morning at the gas station. Saw a card, leaned down to pick it up with the intention of giving it to the people who worked there… a younger couple with a baby saw me and the girl goes, “Oh…! That’s ours!” She seemed genuinely shocked and grateful to see it and when I handed it to her they both thanked me very politely. Still, I was kind of skeptical… but what could I do at that point? “Hey excuse me, give me back that card, please.” ??? 

Then when I was paying, the woman at the register next to me was fretting about her missing card… so I asked, “Was it a blue Chase card?” She said yes, so I told her that the young couple with a baby over there saw me pick it up to bring to the counter, and told me it was theirs. She said, “I asked them if they saw a card and they said no!” I said, “Well, they did see it, because they claimed it as theirs.” The guys who worked there were like, “The young couple with a baby? Are they still in here?” Another man in the line said, “Yeah they’re still here. They’re right over there.” I had to get to work so I didn’t wait around to see what happened, but I have to assume that their attempt at stealing the woman’s card turned around to bite them in the ass. And I’m glad. 

I just don’t understand how people can be so sketchy! You will have so much bad karma coming your way if you go through life doing things like that! I could never ever steal someone’s card like that. Or money or anything! And really, how stupid can you be? You steal this card and then kick it in the gas station for ten more minutes? You didn’t think there was a possibility that the person who owns it was still there?

Anyway, I felt like a jackass for just handing over the card. Next time I’m definitely going to ask what the name on the card is. It wasn’t even that I was super trusting of them… it just all happened really quickly and I didn’t really think about it in the moment. Ugh! At least they stuck around and were found out! Dirty liars that they apparently are. 

Changing Perspective

It has now been just over one year since I moved from Michigan to Arizona. Time flies. 

I highly encourage anyone who wants to move away to just go ahead and do it! You can come up with excuses all your life for why you “can’t” do it right now, but the reality is that you can. It comes down to what is more important to you. If you’re truly unhappy somewhere, I can think of very few things that should stop you from changing your scenery. Aside from taking care of a sick family member, or sharing custody of a child… there isn’t much else that is a legitimate excuse for staying “stuck”. 

I am naturally not all that fearful of change and uprooting myself, so maybe it was just easier for me. I just don’t ever want to become stagnant in my life, I guess. I want to meet new people, see new things, change my perspective by changing various things in my life. Sometimes it can be frightening because we don’t have crystal balls–we never truly know how something is going to to turn out. It could turn out badly. But look at what will happen if you don’t make a change… it’ll definitely be bad because you’ll be miserable, you know? 

I won’t lie and say that I haven’t struggled financially due to moving. Has it kept me up at night or brought me to tears? Definitely not. I’ve struggled financially before. But in twenty years what’s going to be more prevalent in my mind? The bills I barely paid, the shoes I couldn’t buy, or the life experiences I gained?

The life experiences will always win. They will always be there. The minor stresses of money will fade with time. I know I won’t always struggle, so I’m not terribly concerned with it. I can’t take it with me when I’m dead anyway, so I’m going to focus on the more important things! 

Things like… sky diving for the first time… becoming closer with my two cousins & establishing new relationships with them (& their family) that add fulfillment to my life… the lessons I took from going through a divorce… meeting & spending time with a man who helped me see my worth… seeing Disneyland for the first time… becoming more focused on my health and on my writing… meeting and dating someone who seems to also see my worth… and just having fun in general… doing my best to enjoy life in all aspects. 

Seriously… if you’re thinking of doing it… just make it happen. Life will go on. The people who matter in your life will still be a part of it, even from a distance. You’ll go through some bad things, but bad things will happen no matter where you are. All I can really say is… You will survive. ❤ 

Join Me in My Idiocy

I’ve been feeling a bit sick the past few days… kind of lost my voice for a minute last week… then over the weekend it completely left me. Today at work I struggled to talk on the phone, I felt congested in my sinuses as well as my chest…

So someone suggested I try sitting in the sauna at the gym–maybe sweat out some of the sickness, and perhaps help my dry, scratchy throat. I hate saunas, but I figured it might help so why not try?

I have a small pink combination lock that I took with me. I’ve had it for years so I thought I remembered the combination but I double checked the little slip of paper in my wallet anyway. I was right. Then I put my purse in the locker, and tried the combination once before putting it on the locker. It worked, good deal. Done. Off to the sauna I went…

Coming back from the sauna I twisted the lock and entered the combination… didn’t work. I continued to try for at least 10 minutes. I tried the only two combinations that I thought it might be, simply switching the last two numbers. I was trying “36-23-21” and “36-23-31”. Over and over. And over. Why was I so sure that this was my combination? Because ever since I got my lock the combination always makes me think of the part in “Ride Wit Me” when Nelly says, “Imagine this was 36, 25, 34.” So since that was in my mind, I was SURE that the first number was 36. I knew 23 and either 21 or 31 were in the mix, so it could only be those two combos. In my mind.

After realizing that I was NOT going to get the combination, and that I definitely needed my purse out of that locker I headed for the front desk. (The definition of insanity is trying the same thing multiple times expecting different results, and I was not trying to look like a crazy person.) I said to the two receptionists, “So this is ridiculously embarrassing, but I can’t get my lock to open… do you guys have a way to break the lock?” One perkily replied, “Yep, we do! It happens a lot.” So off we went with a 3 feet long set of bolt cutters. Popped open the lock, I got my purse out. As I walked out of the gym I checked the little piece of paper in my wallet… the combination was 23-36-21.

HaHaHaHa! So that was MY Monday evening! 🙂 I hope all of yours was equally as entertaining.

I Need to Vent.

I live in a small condo/apartment. The walls are fairly thin. We can hear our neighbors shutting doors, shutting cupboards, running their shower, talking to each other, walking around, their babies crying, music playing, etc.

We are reasonable people. During the day if we hear some mumbles & grumbles from them chatting, it’s whatever. Babies crying… can’t really do too much about that at any hour. If there is loud music playing at 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday, have at it!

Our downstairs neighbors politely complained to us that WE were being too loud–they could hear us walking, and slamming doors, which was waking up their baby from time to time. We politely responded that we would definitely attempt to shut our doors more softly, and not stomp around, but made sure to tell them that they will still be able to hear us anyway because of the thin walls situation. We can hear them, too. It happens. They were very considerate in response, and thanked us for also being considerate.

The neighbors on either side of us are a different story. On my roommate’s side, she gets to deal with screaming matches, makeup sex, obscenely loud music at 2 am, crying, slamming doors, and what sounds like domestic abuse. She has called the police once, and a different person in the complex called a separate time. She has banged on the wall, and they bang BACK angrily. Like, are you mad at her for interrupting your domestic violence situation? Makes sense. The one time the cops were called, my roommate could hear the female half of the battling couple standing outside shouting that SHE is too loud… ?! (She being my roommate.) Umm… except nobody is calling the cops on us. But okay. Nice try.

On my side, I can pretty much always hear the couple next to me laughing, lightly bickering, having what sounds like tickle-fights… etc. Typically they don’t bother me. I’m sure they hear me talking, too. There have been numerous times that they have woken me up, though. After midnight, if you’re shouting, you’re being ridiculous. We are not in college anymore. I have to get up at 7am and work all day. So from time to time I’ll hear a sudden outburst and wake up. Most of the time I can fall right back asleep. No big deal. I move on.

One time about a month ago they were being loud at like 12:30 and were keeping me up, so I lightly knocked on the wall. They stopped. Cool. Then two weekends ago around 1:45 am I could hear two girls who sounded drunk shouting, laughing hysterically, squealing, and then I heard the guy also laughing and yelling. They were keeping me up. So I knocked on the wall. What did I get in response? “It’s Saturday night, bitches!!!!!” So I responded, “And I’m trying to sleep, bitches!!!!” You want to have a screaming match with me through the wall like we’re 12? Fine. They shut up and moved their party to the living room or something. Whatever. I figured they were drunk and it was a one time issue.

Last night, I’m sleeping. It’s 12:45 in the morning. It’s been quiet all night. Then, what do I hear? Two giggling idiots come into the bedroom of the apartment next to me, hop onto the bed (that’s how thin the walls are), and start friggen harassing me with, “Hi honeeeyyyyyyy! We’re backkkk! Hi honeyyyy, wake up! Ohhhhh are you mad?! Hahahahahaha! Oh my god she’s going to hate me! Hahaha! Hiiiiiii! Oh my god he’s going to yell at me. HaHaHa!! Honeyyyyyyy!” Then I hear the guy walk in and say, “What the f*** are you doing? Leave her alone. Get out of here.” Then the girls giggle and left the room and he shut the door.

Seriously? Is this real life? We’re going to have to have a little chat. Something along the lines of, “I’m sorry that you’re apparently a child and were offended by me lightly knocking on the wall when you woke me up in the middle of the night, but that doesn’t give you the right to harass me via the wall between our bedrooms. Please get a life. Don’t do it again, or I will call the cops because frankly, I don’t give a shit. You’re being obnoxious, and I’m not putting up with idiotic children. I’ve been cool with you and pretty damn lenient about the noise you make, but I guess we’re going the immature & inconsiderate route.” Or something like that.

HaHa! Really though, I don’t feel that I’m being ridiculous by being aggravated by this behavior. It’s not like every time I hear a peep from them I’m knocking on the wall. Literally TWO times out of probably over a dozen times that they’ve woken me up. I’m pretty laid back and understanding, people.

Friends who are parents, please just promise me that you will raise your children to have some significant level of consideration for others. Thank you in advance from the rest of the world. HaHa!

K I’m done. I hope everyone has a fantastical Thursday!

That Little Day in February

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and I just always feel like it’s a weird holiday.

If you’re in a relationship, I get that it’s cute and fun to get flowers, or presents, or go on a fancy date. This is the first year I will not have a “Valentine” since I was 13 years old… and for the last 13 years I did celebrate it in some fashion with whatever guy I was with every year.

That being said, I’ve always done my best to make it very clear to any guy I date that I prefer to know how they feel about me on a regular basis on random days… on a Wednesday in March. A Tuesday in July. For no “reason.” Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day are all great & wonderful & yes I want them recognized in some way… but it doesn’t need to be a big show. Well, except maybe my birthday. 🙂 (Hey, they should be jazzed that I was born!)

Girls especially seem to want to use Valentine’s Day as a bragging contest. A show of whose boyfriend is better based on the extravagant gifts he gets. I would much rather get a single flower two weeks later for no reason, when he has no pressure to “perform” as a boyfriend/husband/etc. That says more than a diamond bracelet on Valentine’s Day to me. Now, would I be happy to get a diamond bracelet on Valentine’s Day? Well yeah! LoL. But only if I felt like I was getting the appropriate amount of affection/attention all the other days of the year as well. If not, then it wouldn’t really mean much. It’s like a guy that beats his girlfriend 6 days a week, then tells her he loves her & makes her dinner & buys her a present on the 7th day. (Extreme analogy, I know. But you see my point, yes? HaHa.)

My feelings toward Valentine’s Day are basically, “Hey, you’re fun, V-Day. But you’re not allll that.”

At the same time… I find it really amusing how it’s supposed to be a holiday for love and bringing people together, when it really just makes the other half–the single half–bitter as all get out. Not everyone, obviously. But every year I see what feels like an excessive amount of people just HATING on the day. When really, it’s just a day. Ignore it if you don’t like it. Letting some thing, or some one, affect you like that is giving that thing or person power in your life. Why would you let some thing have power in your life and upset you if you don’t even care about it? Makes no sense to me.

I’d rather be single than be with someone who isn’t a good match for me or who isn’t truly worthy of my time or attention. And again… it’s just one day. So don’t let it get you all in a tizzy if you’re single. Just be happy for those that found love and let it give you hope for yourself! Positivity, people! Put it out there and you will receive it. Put negativity out there and what do you think you will get? …. I’m just saying. 🙂

Cheers to the Ladies

Earlier this week I expressed that 2012 was full of men basically telling me that they could live without me and didn’t mind losing me. I understand that some day I will meet someone who makes it all worth it, and blah blah blah. I haven’t lost all hope, but every now and then I just feel like, “Really? REALLY?!” You have to allow yourself a pity party once in awhile, I think.

Well anyway… I have decided that instead of focus on the men who have disappointed me in my life recently I’m going to take a moment to focus on the phenomenal women in my life. I think I have done this before, but I ‘m not sure how long ago… but I have been so fortunate to find a handful of women I can call my “besties” and who are unfailingly there to support me. In no particular order, let me introduce them…

My mother, Renata: Words will never be quite enough to express how important this woman is to me. She is patient, stable, rational, loving, and unbelievably kind and forgiving. And she is strong. From a very young age I felt she was my best friend. She raised me to have respect for her and she disciplined me well when necessary, but I knew that I could always go to her with any and every problem I might have. When pseudo-friends were letting me down… when boys were hurting my feelings… when in college all of the stress would get to me… when I’m bored and just need to talk… she is always there. I wish that I could be more like her in so many ways. ❤

Megan: Oh, Megan. She is my kindred spirit. We both do what we want when we want, and really don’t care what people who don’t even know us (or a lot of people who do) think of us. She “gets me” that way. We can lounge around together all day in our jammies doing nothing but talking, or get all dressed up and go out only to just hang out together anyway. When we first met we were friendly enough because we had to be–our boyfriends were best friends.  We quickly realized that deep down we are more alike than we are different. She is raising two gorgeous, sweet-as-can-be children and doing a wonderful job of it (I guess with some help… Adam does some stuff sometimes–haha!). Her life took some turns she didn’t plan for, and she pulled up her boot straps so to speak (she’s going to say “what are you, 90?!” to that phrase) and did what she needed to do. And I will always admire her for that.

Ashley: My first best friend! My cousin and my partner-in-crime while we were growing up. She is a firecracker and a “blast” (haha!). She bounces right back from being knocked down in life with great ease. I am so proud of her and the woman that she has become… we will obviously always be family, but more importantly we will always be friends. She will always be able to make me laugh, and she will always understand where I’m coming from, because we are so alike.

Nessa: She is my sensitive little soul. She will also get in a man’s face with me when necessary. She’s not a contradiction, she just takes her time letting people see the real her. We are as opposite as can be in so many ways, but it works! We balance each other out. If I didn’t have her in my life right now, I would be beyond lonely and homesick. She’s my cousin/roomie/coworker/bestie and luckily we ended up getting along famously. 🙂 I’ve known her vaguely for most of our lives (as cousins by marriage), but I am so happy to have gotten the chance to really get to know her, because she is a genuine friend and keeps me sane in this crazy life.

Brittany: My bru-baby. Our friendship progressed slowly as we worked together at good old HCo… but once we got to know each other and see each other for who we really were, we became fast friends. She is as silly as me, and as hopelessly romantic as me. She has been through a lot in her life and is sweet and sensitive while remaining strong and determined. We have entirely too many random inside jokes for the relatively short amount of time we’ve known each other. “Taboooo!” – “Woo woo!” – “Eehhhh!” just to name a few. We’ve had countless moments of tear-inducing laughter. And I’m sure will have many more in the future.

Alysia: We’re pushing 20 years of friendship here, so I really don’t know where to begin. My longest running friend-who-isn’t-family but who really is family at this point. We’ve gotten into what, maybe one “fight” the entire time we’ve been best friends? We are best friend soulmates. There is no other option other than for us to be friends. We know each other better than can be explained, we’ve had countless memories shared, we understand each other, and love each other wholeheartedly, and unconditionally. I say she could never do anything to make me not want to be her friend, because I know she never WOULD do anything to make me not want to be her friend. I trust her with my problems, secrets, and honestly with my life. She’s the sweetest, funniest girl and I could probably write a novel about our friendship and how much it means to me. ❤

Cassie: My gorgeous baby sister who isn’t quite a “baby” anymore, at 21 years old. If she were any more beautiful I’m pretty sure the universe would implode on itself. We weren’t raised together in the same home, but made efforts to get to know each other and it’s one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. If we hadn’t, then I wouldn’t know her and that would be tragic. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. And funny and vibrant and such a good time to be around. She’s a little firecracker! I remember showing her off in her car seat when I was five years old and she was just an infant, and I will forever be showing her off and bragging about how great she is.

Karen: The relationship that brought her into my life is over, but I will never push her out of my life. From the day I met her she was nothing but kind, sweet, and generous toward me. She is the definition of sweetness and optimism. She became like a second mother to me, and I will forever love her for always being a listening ear through everything I have gone through… and I’m happy that I have been able to be the same for her. She is a special person. ❤

There are countless other wonderful women in my life: my more than fabulous boss/cousin/friend Sanam… crazy awesome Cammelle… my sweet little love, Morgan… my other fabulous HCo girls (you know who you are!)…

And I’m just so thankful to be surrounded by such high quality women… so many that I know are true friends. They are not wishy-washy or immature or fleeting in my life. They are my support system… my personal counsel… and they are absolutely amazing. So here’s to you, ladies. I hope all of you always know how much I love you and that I will always be there for you the same way that you are there for me. ❤

Bullies & Their Victims

Bullying has been in the news quite a bit recently… it seems that more and more teens are taking their lives because of the hurtful words and actions of their peers. I was reading an article about Amanda Todd, another victim of bullying, and it got me thinking about the issue in general.

The big question seems to be “why?” Why are the kids bullying so much? Why are the victims feeling like they have no other option than to end their lives?

I’m going to sound incredibly heartless for a second here, but bear with me. When I initially hear about a girl taking her own life because other girls were calling her a “slut” or “whore”… I think, “Toughen up!” (Seriously, give me a second…) I can’t imagine ever having cared enough about what snotty girls in high school had to say about me. Some did call me a “slut” and hid behind their computer screens threatening to beat me up (mind you, I had never slept with anyone and never kissed anyone else’s boyfriend or even cheated on my boyfriend… girls are silly and throw that word around for lack of anything better to say)… and I basically chuckled at them and called them out on it. I didn’t get beat up. They continued calling me names to others, and I continued disregarding their opinion of me.

But then I think about it and I realize that we are all different. It is not anyone’s fault if they don’t have the same level of confidence or self-assuredness as others. So then I wonder… whose fault is it then?

Honestly, I think parents have more to do with it than a lot of people will admit. Society changes… the Internet is around & often used as a weapon against people… kids are shown images, videos, etc. of how they’re supposed to be, what’s “cool”, pressure is upon them to look a certain way and act a certain way… but parents are supposed to be there to guide their children. It isn’t society’s job to raise a child. It isn’t a school’s job to teach children kindness, compassion, as well as strength and confidence. It would be wonderful for schools and society to set good examples for kids and to supplement what parents are teaching… but the responsibility is still with the parents. In my opinion.

As far as these bullies go… where are the parents teaching them kindness? Where are the parents teaching them that they should treat people how they want to be treated? And that they are no better than anyone else… that spreading rumors and trying to make someone’s life miserable are not healthy or productive hobbies to have? That putting someone down will not, in fact, make you a better person or make you feel better. (Like in Mean Girls! … “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier.”)

And for the victims of bullying… where are the parents teaching them to be strong in the face of adversity? To stand up for themselves… to see a bully’s hurtful words as the mask for their own insecurities… to not worry about what people who don’t even know them well think of them? Also, if I ever had been actually threatened and thought it was serious… or if I was bullied to the point of it affecting me negatively… I would have gone to my mother in an instant. I could confide in her… my parents were a safe haven. I trusted them, and I would have trusted them to handle the situation if it got out of hand, past the point of what a teenager can handle. So it seems like these victims didn’t think they could go to their parents… or any other trustworthy adult… which is so unfortunate and tragic.

I just feel like people sometimes forget that while they might be 16-19 years old and on their way into adulthood… these are still kids. It wasn’t THAT long ago (haha) that I was a teenager… and I freshly remember how dramatic everything seemed then. It was so hard to see past the next week… much less to see ten years into the future and realize that everything happening at that time would become incredibly insignificant. Maybe parents forget that by the time their kids are in high school?

Really, I could go on. About parents doing a better job of monitoring their kids’ Internet activities… about how much confidence can be pulled out of a kid before it’s just a matter of their personality… but I’ve gone on long enough already. 🙂

All I know is, if everyone in the world had parents like mine (and like some of my friends’ parents)… the world would be a much better place. It’s as simple as following the Golden Rule. I can’t stress that enough… if everyone just treated people the way they would like to be treated we’d be much better off as a whole. In a perfect world, right? I will keep trying to do my part, and that’s all I can do!

That Feeling of Being “Home”

I visited my home state of Michigan a few weeks ago, traveling all across the beautiful Mitten seeing various friends and family, and it got me thinking about the concept of “home”.

Sometimes when people say “home is where the heart is” I think they’re saying that home is where the people you love are. If that’s the case… my home is approximately 7 different places. So I don’t really think that’s what the phrase means. Not for me, anyway. Or for a lot of people. In our world today we move around, we get new jobs, new opportunities, new spouses… and we go to live somewhere other than where our parents are, or our best friends are. Somewhere other than the environment we grew up in. Or maybe, we’re all just really lucky now and get to call quite a few places “home” because our hearts are with people in a variety of places. I like that idea. I’m just not a person who will ever feel like I have just one “home”… I can’t see that happening.

When I’m in my hometown, I don’t necessarily feel at “home”, but I never really did there. At my parents’ house I do, however. I feel comfortable there. I fit in there. I don’t feel like I fit in in the town as a whole (though there is much to love about it).

Saginaw never felt like home, not fully. I have so many people there that I love, but I always knew I could never stay there. If I had to for some reason, I would make the best of it, but I would never be fully satisfied in my life.

Grand Rapids has always been one of my favorite places. It’s a beautiful, unique city with a spirit all its own. It feels familiar to me. I’m comfortable there as well.

For me home is any place I feel like I fit in… a place that inspires me… a place that I know and understand… a place that is comforting as well as comfortable.

Phoenix is starting to feel like it… I know the roads, the names of the suburbs, the weather… and so far it has been a good environment for me. Nothing is ever perfect, but when I landed back in Mesa from Michigan, I found myself smiling for no particular reason as I walked to my car in the warm-blanket sunshine.

So I guess I have a few places to call home, and I really like it that way. I like having my heart spread around to so many people in so many places. 🙂