It really bothers me that as women we are basically raised to dislike each other… to be suspicious of each other… to negatively judge each other… my main broad Jenna Marbles says it perfectly in this video I posted a few weeks ago. Pretty much sums it up.
Anyway. Something that I basically forced myself to learn when I was younger… there is a major difference between being a snotty, conceited girl and being a self-assured, confident girl. Most (young) girls see another girl being confident, knowing she is attractive/awesome and say that girl is a “stuck up” b*tch or “thinks she’s better than everyone”. Not necessarily true.
We are made to feel that when receiving a compliment, we should shy away or say something like, “Oh whatever, I’m ugly/fat/have a weird nose” or some other crap. It is OKAY to just say “thank you”! That song that’s out right now about some girl being beautiful because she doesn’t know she’s beautiful… kind of bull crap. Not knowing you’re beautiful (which usually really means pretending like you don’t know, let’s be honest ladies) doesn’t make you beautiful. Genetics/personal tastes do. Not being a snotty b*tch about it makes your personality beautiful, though.
I’m just sick of seeing young girls that seem to not even know how to be confident. Even if you’re not some supermodel (very few people are!) or super outgoing… a big part of being attractive/desirable rests in how you carry yourself. You don’t have to always be dolled up or looking your best. If you carry yourself with confidence, people will take note of that.
And if you’re not confident/content within yourself, then you run the risk of falling prey to every joker who tells you you’re pretty/amazing/sweet/sexy. If you already know & believe in your own greatness then you won’t need their validation. Also a lesson that I had to learn when I was younger. You’ll be able to just politely accept the compliment (whether it’s genuine or not) and go about your business happily. It’s obviously still nice to receive compliments–but like I said before, if you carry yourself with confidence people will take note of that and you’ll probably get more compliments anyway just because of that air of self-assurance.
Accept your flaws, too. Own them. We alllll have them. Stop thinking that you need to be perfect to be good enough. Nobody is perfect. Some famous people might seem like it in their magazine cover shoots… but in real life they have less-than-perfect traits, too. Be able to laugh at yourself. Be able to admit your flaws & insecurities because you know that they don’t define you.
We all have our insecure moments–it’s part of what makes us vulnerable and human. Just try not to let the insecure moments outweigh the moments where you are content & happy with yourself. Try to be comfortable in your own skin, basically.
I just really hope that if I have a daughter some day I’ll be able to effectively teach her this lesson the way my mother taught me.