Do you ever just sit back and really think about how crazy and random life is?
Most of us have set goals and dreams and a general plan for our lives… but we have no idea what will actually happen in one month, six months, ten years. Keeping a journal my entire life really helps me see this. If I go back to my journals from high school I just can’t help but laugh. I thought that at 26 I would have my life set. I thought I would have two kids already and be completely settled in whatever career path I chose. Now looking at how my life has actually panned out… it’s just funny how wrong we can be.
I love that I don’t actually have a clue what my life will be like in five years, or ten years. So much can happen! And I realize that bad things can happen, but that’s just part of life. I have faith in myself to be able to handle the difficult parts of life. I’ve handled a few already.
The adventure aspect of life just really makes me excited! I’m happy with where life has taken me thus far, and I’m anxious to see what else will happen.
It seems that when I was younger, life seemed so much shorter. Which is weird. I thought I had a finite number of years to get through college, date someone, get a career, marry that someone, have kids with them. I thought that if I wasn’t married with kids by now, the clock would be ticking. I thought that I would be in panic mode.
But now that I’m here and I don’t have everything figured out, and have no intentions of having children anytime soon, and don’t know when I’ll feel like getting married again… I’m really okay with it. I’m just enjoying the ride–seeing where it takes me! I know I have many years ahead of me to “figure things out”, if that can ever actually be achieved.
I’m happy for everyone who is already married with children and loving it. That’s what life had in store for them, and that’s wonderful! I do want that at some point. (Sooner rather than later, but not too soon!) But my life took a different route, and I’m just enjoying that for the time being. I have plenty of time to be a wife and mother–and I will love every minute of that when it happens. For the moment I’m loving being independent, working toward my lifelong dream of being a writer, meeting new people, and enjoying the relationships I have with everyone in my life.