moving

My Passion for Words

I sometimes wonder where I would be without writing. Well, no. Not where, but who. Who I would be if I wasn’t addicted to words and the art of language and the emotions that can be conveyed so beautifully through simple words.

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. -Emily Bronte

I mean… what a simple sentence. A simple thought. But it is beautiful in its clarity and simplicity. You know there is love behind those words. A true, deep, perhaps painfully deep love.

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. My soul is often quieted by it–by books and writing and poetry and the impact that they can have on us.

I just wonder what my passion would be if it wasn’t writing. Some people feel this way about painting, or photography, or basketball. What would stir my soul? Food for thought. 🙂

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Changing Perspective

It has now been just over one year since I moved from Michigan to Arizona. Time flies. 

I highly encourage anyone who wants to move away to just go ahead and do it! You can come up with excuses all your life for why you “can’t” do it right now, but the reality is that you can. It comes down to what is more important to you. If you’re truly unhappy somewhere, I can think of very few things that should stop you from changing your scenery. Aside from taking care of a sick family member, or sharing custody of a child… there isn’t much else that is a legitimate excuse for staying “stuck”. 

I am naturally not all that fearful of change and uprooting myself, so maybe it was just easier for me. I just don’t ever want to become stagnant in my life, I guess. I want to meet new people, see new things, change my perspective by changing various things in my life. Sometimes it can be frightening because we don’t have crystal balls–we never truly know how something is going to to turn out. It could turn out badly. But look at what will happen if you don’t make a change… it’ll definitely be bad because you’ll be miserable, you know? 

I won’t lie and say that I haven’t struggled financially due to moving. Has it kept me up at night or brought me to tears? Definitely not. I’ve struggled financially before. But in twenty years what’s going to be more prevalent in my mind? The bills I barely paid, the shoes I couldn’t buy, or the life experiences I gained?

The life experiences will always win. They will always be there. The minor stresses of money will fade with time. I know I won’t always struggle, so I’m not terribly concerned with it. I can’t take it with me when I’m dead anyway, so I’m going to focus on the more important things! 

Things like… sky diving for the first time… becoming closer with my two cousins & establishing new relationships with them (& their family) that add fulfillment to my life… the lessons I took from going through a divorce… meeting & spending time with a man who helped me see my worth… seeing Disneyland for the first time… becoming more focused on my health and on my writing… meeting and dating someone who seems to also see my worth… and just having fun in general… doing my best to enjoy life in all aspects. 

Seriously… if you’re thinking of doing it… just make it happen. Life will go on. The people who matter in your life will still be a part of it, even from a distance. You’ll go through some bad things, but bad things will happen no matter where you are. All I can really say is… You will survive. ❤ 

That Feeling of Being “Home”

I visited my home state of Michigan a few weeks ago, traveling all across the beautiful Mitten seeing various friends and family, and it got me thinking about the concept of “home”.

Sometimes when people say “home is where the heart is” I think they’re saying that home is where the people you love are. If that’s the case… my home is approximately 7 different places. So I don’t really think that’s what the phrase means. Not for me, anyway. Or for a lot of people. In our world today we move around, we get new jobs, new opportunities, new spouses… and we go to live somewhere other than where our parents are, or our best friends are. Somewhere other than the environment we grew up in. Or maybe, we’re all just really lucky now and get to call quite a few places “home” because our hearts are with people in a variety of places. I like that idea. I’m just not a person who will ever feel like I have just one “home”… I can’t see that happening.

When I’m in my hometown, I don’t necessarily feel at “home”, but I never really did there. At my parents’ house I do, however. I feel comfortable there. I fit in there. I don’t feel like I fit in in the town as a whole (though there is much to love about it).

Saginaw never felt like home, not fully. I have so many people there that I love, but I always knew I could never stay there. If I had to for some reason, I would make the best of it, but I would never be fully satisfied in my life.

Grand Rapids has always been one of my favorite places. It’s a beautiful, unique city with a spirit all its own. It feels familiar to me. I’m comfortable there as well.

For me home is any place I feel like I fit in… a place that inspires me… a place that I know and understand… a place that is comforting as well as comfortable.

Phoenix is starting to feel like it… I know the roads, the names of the suburbs, the weather… and so far it has been a good environment for me. Nothing is ever perfect, but when I landed back in Mesa from Michigan, I found myself smiling for no particular reason as I walked to my car in the warm-blanket sunshine.

So I guess I have a few places to call home, and I really like it that way. I like having my heart spread around to so many people in so many places. 🙂