optimism

Regarding Hope, Love, & Orlando

  • “Find the good in the world, and hold on to it with both hands.” (Quote from a post on @elephantjournal Instagram account.)

I haven’t said a lot about the Orlando shooting aside from sharing some relevant videos and “liking” some relevant posts/videos on social media. This is not because I don’t care (as anyone who really knows me will already be aware of), but rather because I just have so much I could say, and I know myself. If I get going on that tangent, it will turn into a novel before I know it. And there is this weird stigma with speaking up about “issues” on social media. So many people seem to pass judgement on those who often utilize social media as the metaphorical soapbox, getting annoyed about it and rolling their eyes, and seeing it as a very negative quality for someone to possess.

Personally, I love a good soapbox. There has never been a positive change in the world that came about because people remained quiet. As the quote says, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men to do nothing.” So I will continue to try to use the gifts I’ve been given to impact positive change in the world around me. To write about what moves me and try to express a perspective that someone might not have understood previously. To sign petitions and volunteer my time when I can. To be kind to the people I come in contact with and do more good than harm in the world.

I am absolutely stubborn in my optimism and faith in humanity. But in order to truly believe in it, I have to contribute. I believe that one small act of kindness outweighs multiple negative acts, in the balance of our universe. I don’t care if that makes a cynic call me naive. I know that so much progress is needed in our society, in our world. But I also know that love wins, every time.
However, after so many situations like this in recent years, with the same conversations happening over and over again with nothing changing I simply haven’t been able to really form a concrete thought on the situation. I don’t want to say I’m weary, because deep down I know I’m not. As I said, I’m quite stubborn in my optimism. But for the moment, for this moment, I am indeed weary.

My heart breaks all over again every time I think about the Pulse shooting victim who was trapped in the bathroom before being killed, and texted his mother to tell her he loved her and that he thought he was about to die. Can you even imagine? Imagine being that mother, sitting on your couch watching television or perhaps already in bed for the night, getting that text from your child to find out later that they were killed moments later. And for what? For innocently being who they are.
I have so many emotions and thoughts and opinions on the entire situation… the hatred/bigotry, the policy change that desperately needs to happen, issues with gun regulation, mental illness, treatment of the LGBQT community. But behind all of that, all of my own personal thoughts and feelings that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, there are hundreds of friends and family members right now mourning the loss of their loved ones, knowing that they were gunned down for no reason other than someone hated them because of who they loved. There is never any sense to be made out of situations like this. All of those people just had the world fall away from them suddenly, with no explanation, and there never will be an explanation that can fill that void in their lives.
And while I wish I could give each and every one of them a giant hug and it hurts my heart that I can’t… I’m so happy to see the world collectively giving them that hug, metaphorically speaking. ❤ Now let’s see if we do more than just hug them and move on… only time will tell.
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Can We All Just Be Happy?

It has to be exhausting to be cynical about the world. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me.

I see so many people just hating on everything–on life, on relationships, on “people these days.” Do you know that throughout history there have always been people saying these things? It isn’t just our world today. Today cynical people say, “The world today is crap. It was so much better ‘back in the day’.” Well ‘back in the day’ cynical people said the same thing. You’re not saying anything hugely important or philosophical or mind-blowing. I personally find that kind of cynicism incredibly boring.

Especially because I think that most of the time people are just saying it to try to sound “cool.” They think it makes them sound wise, or somehow different. I really love it when someone who is under 30 says stuff like that. You have no recollection of how the world used to be, because you weren’t in it. Just stop it.

So many people who are single and out there dating seem to want to say that “guys/girls these days” just aren’t at the same caliber as they used to be. That doesn’t even make sense to me. There are good, genuine people out there. There are crappy people, too. But there have always been both. It’s not like back in the 50s everybody was a worthwhile person who would make you feel special and loved. That’s effing ridiculous. So therefore, it is ridiculous to claim that your dating life problems are due to some shift in the quality of people in this world. Maybe you should work on your ability to judge someone’s character. And learn to accept the fact that not every guy/girl you meet is going to end up being some important, meaningful relationship for you. That’s life, and I promise it will all be okayyyy!

I realize it seems that I’m “hating” on other people for “hating.” But I’m just trying to be observant, and speak on what I see. I would love for more people to be more hopeful and optimistic about life and about the world. Can you imagine if the world had all those good vibes floating around? It would be amazing!

Like I said, it just seems like it would be such a downer to be so cynical all the time… and like it would take so much energy. You know what they say… it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. 🙂

That Little Day in February

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and I just always feel like it’s a weird holiday.

If you’re in a relationship, I get that it’s cute and fun to get flowers, or presents, or go on a fancy date. This is the first year I will not have a “Valentine” since I was 13 years old… and for the last 13 years I did celebrate it in some fashion with whatever guy I was with every year.

That being said, I’ve always done my best to make it very clear to any guy I date that I prefer to know how they feel about me on a regular basis on random days… on a Wednesday in March. A Tuesday in July. For no “reason.” Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day are all great & wonderful & yes I want them recognized in some way… but it doesn’t need to be a big show. Well, except maybe my birthday. 🙂 (Hey, they should be jazzed that I was born!)

Girls especially seem to want to use Valentine’s Day as a bragging contest. A show of whose boyfriend is better based on the extravagant gifts he gets. I would much rather get a single flower two weeks later for no reason, when he has no pressure to “perform” as a boyfriend/husband/etc. That says more than a diamond bracelet on Valentine’s Day to me. Now, would I be happy to get a diamond bracelet on Valentine’s Day? Well yeah! LoL. But only if I felt like I was getting the appropriate amount of affection/attention all the other days of the year as well. If not, then it wouldn’t really mean much. It’s like a guy that beats his girlfriend 6 days a week, then tells her he loves her & makes her dinner & buys her a present on the 7th day. (Extreme analogy, I know. But you see my point, yes? HaHa.)

My feelings toward Valentine’s Day are basically, “Hey, you’re fun, V-Day. But you’re not allll that.”

At the same time… I find it really amusing how it’s supposed to be a holiday for love and bringing people together, when it really just makes the other half–the single half–bitter as all get out. Not everyone, obviously. But every year I see what feels like an excessive amount of people just HATING on the day. When really, it’s just a day. Ignore it if you don’t like it. Letting some thing, or some one, affect you like that is giving that thing or person power in your life. Why would you let some thing have power in your life and upset you if you don’t even care about it? Makes no sense to me.

I’d rather be single than be with someone who isn’t a good match for me or who isn’t truly worthy of my time or attention. And again… it’s just one day. So don’t let it get you all in a tizzy if you’re single. Just be happy for those that found love and let it give you hope for yourself! Positivity, people! Put it out there and you will receive it. Put negativity out there and what do you think you will get? …. I’m just saying. 🙂

Enjoy the Journey

Do you ever just sit back and really think about how crazy and random life is?

I do.

Most of us have set goals and dreams and a general plan for our lives… but we have no idea what will actually happen in one month, six months, ten years. Keeping a journal my entire life really helps me see this. If I go back to my journals from high school I just can’t help but laugh. I thought that at 26 I would have my life set. I thought I would have two kids already and be completely settled in whatever career path I chose. Now looking at how my life has actually panned out… it’s just funny how wrong we can be.

I love that I don’t actually have a clue what my life will be like in five years, or ten years. So much can happen! And I realize that bad things can happen, but that’s just part of life. I have faith in myself to be able to handle the difficult parts of life. I’ve handled a few already.

The adventure aspect of life just really makes me excited! I’m happy with where life has taken me thus far, and I’m anxious to see what else will happen.

It seems that when I was younger, life seemed so much shorter. Which is weird. I thought I had a finite number of years to get through college, date someone, get a career, marry that someone, have kids with them. I thought that if I wasn’t married with kids by now, the clock would be ticking. I thought that I would be in panic mode.

But now that I’m here and I don’t have everything figured out, and have no intentions of having children anytime soon, and don’t know when I’ll feel like getting married again… I’m really okay with it. I’m just enjoying the ride–seeing where it takes me! I know I have many years ahead of me to “figure things out”, if that can ever actually be achieved.

I’m happy for everyone who is already married with children and loving it. That’s what life had in store for them, and that’s wonderful! I do want that at some point. (Sooner rather than later, but not too soon!) But my life took a different route, and I’m just enjoying that for the time being. I have plenty of time to be a wife and mother–and I will love every minute of that when it happens. For the moment I’m loving being independent, working toward my lifelong dream of being a writer, meeting new people, and enjoying the relationships I have with everyone in my life.

Put On a Happy Face

Lately on my social media sites I’ve been noticing a lot of negativity. I’m getting kind of sick of it. I mostly just don’t “get” it.

Frankly, sometimes shitty things happen. People act shitty. It isn’t the end of the world and it doesn’t mean EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is suddenly shitty. Why generalize like that? Why would you want to see the world in that light? No fun, if you ask me. Some guys are douches. Some girls are lying skanks. But it’s statistically impossible for EVERY guy/girl to not be worth it. Sometimes your friends let you down. It doesn’t mean any and all friends are going to do that. All it means is… that’s life!

Have we gotten so spoiled that we think everything should be kittens & rainbows all the time? And if not, we hate everything and everyone for not doing everything our way? Life is life. Good things happen. Bad things happen. That’s just the way it is. But life is FAR too short to be consumed with negativity. Everywhere you go, no matter the city, time, group of people… there will be situations where you could easily let yourself have a pity party. What a waste of time and energy. You’ll end up missing everything good if you do that.

Every now & then we all have our “this sucks” moment, and that’s fine. I’m an incredibly optimistic/happy person, but I still have my “hate my life” moments. It just seems like so many people let that feeling run their lives. If you’re experiencing something that’s bringing you down or making you feel bad… understand it, accept it, and deal with it. Then move on and get rid of it.

If you’re constantly feeling sorry for yourself & that’s the vibe you’re putting out into the world… how are other people supposed to not feel sorry for you also? People aren’t going to treat you with respect if you’re basically curled up in the fetal position all the time.

And if you really hate something in your life… if it’s bringing you down, whether it be a relationship, job, friendship, etc… then change it! Do something about it! Make positive changes for yourself. You have no right to complain if you won’t put in any effort.

I’m a big believer in the energy that we put out there. People can sense it. If you’re depressed people will subconsciously be able to tell and chances are they will have a negative feeling around you. It will effect your interactions. Put negativity out and that’s what you will get. Why not take that energy and put it toward being happy?

Maybe I’m just a total freak of nature to think that it’s so easy to be optimistic. It’s ingrained in me. But no, because I have a lot of friends who have positive outlooks as well… I just wish more could! I feel bad for people who are negative the majority of the time… SMILE! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… just fake it! Smile like you’re cheesing for a picture, and the movement of the muscles sends endorphins to your brain to make you feel happier. Fact. :))))

It will all be okay. You just have to make it okay. ❤