women

Cheers to the Ladies

Earlier this week I expressed that 2012 was full of men basically telling me that they could live without me and didn’t mind losing me. I understand that some day I will meet someone who makes it all worth it, and blah blah blah. I haven’t lost all hope, but every now and then I just feel like, “Really? REALLY?!” You have to allow yourself a pity party once in awhile, I think.

Well anyway… I have decided that instead of focus on the men who have disappointed me in my life recently I’m going to take a moment to focus on the phenomenal women in my life. I think I have done this before, but I ‘m not sure how long ago… but I have been so fortunate to find a handful of women I can call my “besties” and who are unfailingly there to support me. In no particular order, let me introduce them…

My mother, Renata: Words will never be quite enough to express how important this woman is to me. She is patient, stable, rational, loving, and unbelievably kind and forgiving. And she is strong. From a very young age I felt she was my best friend. She raised me to have respect for her and she disciplined me well when necessary, but I knew that I could always go to her with any and every problem I might have. When pseudo-friends were letting me down… when boys were hurting my feelings… when in college all of the stress would get to me… when I’m bored and just need to talk… she is always there. I wish that I could be more like her in so many ways. ❤

Megan: Oh, Megan. She is my kindred spirit. We both do what we want when we want, and really don’t care what people who don’t even know us (or a lot of people who do) think of us. She “gets me” that way. We can lounge around together all day in our jammies doing nothing but talking, or get all dressed up and go out only to just hang out together anyway. When we first met we were friendly enough because we had to be–our boyfriends were best friends.  We quickly realized that deep down we are more alike than we are different. She is raising two gorgeous, sweet-as-can-be children and doing a wonderful job of it (I guess with some help… Adam does some stuff sometimes–haha!). Her life took some turns she didn’t plan for, and she pulled up her boot straps so to speak (she’s going to say “what are you, 90?!” to that phrase) and did what she needed to do. And I will always admire her for that.

Ashley: My first best friend! My cousin and my partner-in-crime while we were growing up. She is a firecracker and a “blast” (haha!). She bounces right back from being knocked down in life with great ease. I am so proud of her and the woman that she has become… we will obviously always be family, but more importantly we will always be friends. She will always be able to make me laugh, and she will always understand where I’m coming from, because we are so alike.

Nessa: She is my sensitive little soul. She will also get in a man’s face with me when necessary. She’s not a contradiction, she just takes her time letting people see the real her. We are as opposite as can be in so many ways, but it works! We balance each other out. If I didn’t have her in my life right now, I would be beyond lonely and homesick. She’s my cousin/roomie/coworker/bestie and luckily we ended up getting along famously. 🙂 I’ve known her vaguely for most of our lives (as cousins by marriage), but I am so happy to have gotten the chance to really get to know her, because she is a genuine friend and keeps me sane in this crazy life.

Brittany: My bru-baby. Our friendship progressed slowly as we worked together at good old HCo… but once we got to know each other and see each other for who we really were, we became fast friends. She is as silly as me, and as hopelessly romantic as me. She has been through a lot in her life and is sweet and sensitive while remaining strong and determined. We have entirely too many random inside jokes for the relatively short amount of time we’ve known each other. “Taboooo!” – “Woo woo!” – “Eehhhh!” just to name a few. We’ve had countless moments of tear-inducing laughter. And I’m sure will have many more in the future.

Alysia: We’re pushing 20 years of friendship here, so I really don’t know where to begin. My longest running friend-who-isn’t-family but who really is family at this point. We’ve gotten into what, maybe one “fight” the entire time we’ve been best friends? We are best friend soulmates. There is no other option other than for us to be friends. We know each other better than can be explained, we’ve had countless memories shared, we understand each other, and love each other wholeheartedly, and unconditionally. I say she could never do anything to make me not want to be her friend, because I know she never WOULD do anything to make me not want to be her friend. I trust her with my problems, secrets, and honestly with my life. She’s the sweetest, funniest girl and I could probably write a novel about our friendship and how much it means to me. ❤

Cassie: My gorgeous baby sister who isn’t quite a “baby” anymore, at 21 years old. If she were any more beautiful I’m pretty sure the universe would implode on itself. We weren’t raised together in the same home, but made efforts to get to know each other and it’s one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. If we hadn’t, then I wouldn’t know her and that would be tragic. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. And funny and vibrant and such a good time to be around. She’s a little firecracker! I remember showing her off in her car seat when I was five years old and she was just an infant, and I will forever be showing her off and bragging about how great she is.

Karen: The relationship that brought her into my life is over, but I will never push her out of my life. From the day I met her she was nothing but kind, sweet, and generous toward me. She is the definition of sweetness and optimism. She became like a second mother to me, and I will forever love her for always being a listening ear through everything I have gone through… and I’m happy that I have been able to be the same for her. She is a special person. ❤

There are countless other wonderful women in my life: my more than fabulous boss/cousin/friend Sanam… crazy awesome Cammelle… my sweet little love, Morgan… my other fabulous HCo girls (you know who you are!)…

And I’m just so thankful to be surrounded by such high quality women… so many that I know are true friends. They are not wishy-washy or immature or fleeting in my life. They are my support system… my personal counsel… and they are absolutely amazing. So here’s to you, ladies. I hope all of you always know how much I love you and that I will always be there for you the same way that you are there for me. ❤

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Think Like a Man… maybe.

I know this is a generalization and there are exceptions… but from my personal experience women tend to have trouble with over thinking things in relationships. I know I do. Most of my girlfriends do as well.

When men are standoffish or vague, our minds run away with us. We aren’t getting the feedback or communication we crave, so we think the worst. We go over every possible scenario… we ask every question… we try to answer these questions with what information we do have. If a man suddenly behaves in a way that is out of character, we wonder why.

Men of the world… we don’t like being this way. When these thoughts are running through our brains we are not having a good time. If we could flip a switch and have our minds just relax and not worry about it, we would. It simply isn’t that easy for most of us.

I’m doing my best to take things at face value right now. My problem is that I always want to know the whole story. I’m a talker. I’m a writer. I like to know things. It’s an issue when someone else isn’t this way because they probably won’t understand me. But it’s just me! 🙂

Taking things at face value can be a tricky thing. I feel like when you just accept something someone says exactly how they say it, there are assumptions involved. You are assuming that you understand what the meaning was. But you are understanding it with your own perceptions, which are different from other people’s perceptions.

But, over thinking everything tends to be disastrous. So, I’m making the attempt to relax and just have fun. Wish me luck! HaHa.